All about Anger

All about Anger

Anger is one emotion that a lot of us are dubious about. Many of us don’t like anger so we supress it and try not to show it. Others don’t know how to not show their angry emotions and can go from 0 – 60, from calm to full-blown rage. They then to scare everyone around them, whether they mean to do it or not. None of these approaches to anger is healthy as anger is not a bad emotion, Any emotion can be dealt with poorly and inappropriately.

Like any emotion, anger can be dealt with poorly or allowed to swing out of control. This can include disruptions to your relationships, career, mental and physical health, and ability to achieve goals.

What is anger?

Anger is a basic human emotion and is just as normal as feeling happy, scared, disappointed, worried. It a normal emotion and we need it for basic survival. Anger is triggered by your automatic Nervous System (ANS), sympathetic nervous system, which is the primary mechanism in control of the fight, flight or freeze response.

Your ANS, in turn, is triggered by internal and external things that are or have happened. This really means that anger is triggered by what you think and feel about what is going on also in response to what you see is going on.

By internal what you think and feel is often determined by what your opinion is of what is happening. Your past and how you see the world, could impact on how you react to things.
By external, as an example, a lion experience anger when he see’s a deer which he wants to eat. He needs this anger to motivate him to hunt.

What are the symptoms of anger?

Believe it or not, anger affects you physically as well as emotionally.
Physical symptoms can include increased blood pressure and heart rate also muscle tension.

Symptoms of anger issues can include the following:

  • you feel angry often
  • you feel that your anger seems out of control
  • your anger is impacting your relationships
  • your anger is hurting others
  • your anger causes you to say or do things you regret
  • you’re verbally or physically abusive

What are the different types of anger?

There are many different types of anger aside from the obvious signs of rage or punching walls etc. Anger could be any of the following:

  • Narcissistic
  • Explosive
  • Bullying
  • Controlling
  • Entitlement
  • Passive Aggressive
  • Bully
  • Autocrat
  • Type A
  • Demanding
  • Sociopath
  • Conduct Disorder

What causes an anger issue?

As said previously, anger in itself is not a bad emotion but a natural response to what is going on. The only time it becomes an issue is when the anger response is out of context to the trigger or situation. If you or other people are constantly affected by your behaviour, if people fear rather than respect you.

Childhood Trauma

Traumatised children sometimes gravitate towards anger to help them survive their childhood trauma. The problem is, what help them survive as children, can often become a problem as they grow into adults.

Other variances can in addition to childhood abuse and neglect could include birth order, and genetic predispositions.

Depression and Bereavement

People who experience anger and depression may suppress their feelings of anger. Alternatively, they may be more likely to display their anger through aggression or even violence toward a loved one, such as a spouse instead of showing their vulnerabilities of depression.

Anger is also a symptom of grief

There are times when people are grieving to feel frustrated, trapped, and hurt. Those feelings could be directed toward someone or something. When pain dominates the feelings, it is natural to look for someone to blame. 

Being angry is a way of releasing energy, of protesting a loss that does not make sense or seem fair. Even though deep down one understands that anger is not logical or justified, emotions are rarely logical.

Once the reality of the loss begins to set in, it can often bring additional confusion, frustration, and pain. The pain is then expressed as anger. The anger could be aimed at objects or things or even people; complete strangers, friends or family members. 

On occasion, the anger may in fact be aimed at the deceased loved one, emotionally distraught because they left us.


How I can help myself?

By first trying to understand what is causing your anger and why. Understanding what triggers you will help you to take control of what’s happening.

Try to work out if the things you say to yourself if you would say them to a friend or loved one. Very often, our anger is triggered by what we think and the things we tell ourselves. So, try to care about your thoughts as you would do a friend.

Breathing techniques will help to relax and calm you down. I have links to some here.

Breathing Techniques 

I also have some useful tools that you could use to workout how you are feeling and how strong those feelings are, how to cope with those emotions and some simple coping strategies.

Coping with your emotions

What you eat and drink affects how you feel. For example, caffeine and alcohol are known to increase anxiety levels

How I can help you

Understanding the root cause of your anxiety will help you to completely move forward from it. At Fresh Springs Therapy, we will support you through your process and work with you to have the tools and techniques to break the cycle of anxiety.

Call me now or complete my online booking form to make an appointment with me

I am a Therapist based in Sutton Coldfield, UK also available online.

Call for a free 15 minute no obligation consultation to talk about your next steps.

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