10 Signs You Could Be Living With Complex PTSD And Not Know I
You may on the surface look fine. you have a great job, your own house, the call on two Holidays a year. to most of your family and friends you really have your s***t together. The problem is that you know different. You know that things aren’t that good for you. You try and try, but you can never feel at peace as your behaviours, anxieties, emotions often get in the way.
You would have experienced some distress or trauma in your childhood and feel that you have worked so hard to make a good life for yourself and not be a ‘victim’. The problem is that those behaviours that you have learned as a child to survive what you experienced, could still be affecting your life today.
This blog will provide 11 signs you could be living with Complex PTSD.
You may find that YOU:
1. You’re a workaholic and you:
- tend to choose jobs deliberately, that are impossible to do, manic / or highly stressful.
- find that you are bored if you not in highly stressful situations.
- Don’t know how to relax even during evenings, weekends and holidays.
2. You’re a perfectionist and you:
- self-sabotage when you think things are not to scratch
- have imposter syndrome. You feel that no matter how much you do, how much you learn, how much qualifications you have, it’s never good enough
- rather not do something if you think it won’t be perfect
3. You are a people pleaser and you
- You care for everyone else to your detriment, but this feels good for you
- Often let others get away (including your own children) with poor behaviour
- Spoilt your children and now they mistreat you
- feel secretly angry when people don’t reciprocate the kindness you have shown them
- feel treated like a door mat and you are sick of it.
- get so upset and anxious when you feel that you have hurt someone
- feel that your self-care is caring for everyone else
4. You comfort eat or drink too much as
- alcohol or food can squash difficult emotions
- alcohol is a problem for you and the other people in your life
- you drink to feel confident in social situations
- it is the only way to help you feel relaxed
- no one knows the full extent of your habits because you hide it and you feel so ashamed of it
- you tend to binge drink ie you drink excessively more at the weekends or at certain times of the month or year
5. Certain people trigger, you
- don’t know what it is about certain people but they bring out the worst in you
- just feel really uncomfortable around certain people and you don’t know why
- feel really anxious when you are mistreated by one type of person more than the another type i.e. you may feel more anxious or angry if say a tall, thin white man or women in leadership positions mistreat you as opposed to any other people
- “freeze” when certain people speak to you in a particular way.
6. You find it really difficult to fit in with others as you
- feel that others don’t like you or that you don’t like them.
- worry that others are talking about you constantly and taking the Mick.
- have social anxiety over socialising with other people.
7. Relationships are a struggle as you tend to
- find it difficult getting close to somebody allow yourself to feel vulnerable
- avoid relationships and getting close to others
- Even when you find someone great, you second guess your decisions often resulting in sabotaging a good relationship
- feel anxious about your partner and the relationship
- you have never found Mr or Mrs right
8. You just don’t like yourself
- you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and say you like yourself
- instead of understanding that you make mistakes you feel that you are completely flawed
- you feel that you are really ugly
- you hate your body
- you are overly critical of yourself and sometimes others
9. You have an amazing poker face
- You don’t show your emotions, never too happy, never too sad
- Certain emotions i.e. anger is a no no for you
- no matter how you feel inside you put a smile on your face
- to the outside world you’re okay
- what goes on outside doesn’t reflect what goes on inside
- no one knows how you feel
10. ‘Minor issues tend to stress you out
- things can really stress you out and make you feel anxious.
- you tend to blow things way out of proportion
- you overreact to inconsequential things but knowing that just makes you feel more anxious
- You find it difficult to cope with your emotions
As said, this is not meant to diagnose but just to help you to understand that even though your life is going great in some respects despite your upbringing, you could be affected in a number of other ways.
Also, you know deep down that your past is still affecting you in your life now. The advantage with knowing about Complex PTSD is that you can move past it. You can really do this and make a better life for yourself.
Hope you enjoyed this article, let me know what you think by commenting down below or by messaging me.
I am a Therapist based in Sutton Coldfield, UK also available online.
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