Why Making Mistakes is Important?
Sometimes as a child we experience many things that made us feel ashamed.
Maybe our parents were over critical; maybe we never got much praise for the things we did; maybe we witnessed attempts to be a perfectionist by are parents and see from them that we always need to get it right so that’s what we learned. Or we were only valued for what we did rather than who we are as a person.
Whatever the reasons are, we would end up having a skewered view of ourselves and having expectations of ourselves that are not compassionate for ourselves and often unrealistic.
Alongside how our beliefs were formed due to childhood experiences, there could be a number of reasons why we think it’s so important not to make a mistake.
The problem is we thinking like this is that we begin to think not only that we’ve made a mistake. We believe that we are a mistake, that we are wrong, that there is no good in us. Just because some of the things that we have done.
Our shame then becomes Toxic Shame. It is toxic as it is toxic to our emotional and physical health. When we have toxic shame, we judge yourself harshly due to what we do instead of who we are as a person on a whole.
Learning to allow yourself to make mistakes is important for your recovery because making mistakes is just being human. You are a human being and no matter how hard you try you can’t always get it right. But that’s okay that’s fine, it totally is.
It is about learning to understand that mistakes do not represent you as a person. mistakes are there for us to understand what we need to learn about ourselves or the world.
For example, maybe you made a mistake and started drinking again when you didn’t want to. Try and consider instead of judging yourself so harshly that you’re no good and you should stop drinking alcohol and why can’t you stop drinking. Try and understand what you need instead and what you are missing in your life. maybe you relapsed because you were stressed or because you were tired, or you just have really low self-worth. Then maybe look to see how you could resolve those issues rather than continue to judge yourself.
If you look at it this way the likelihood of you relapsing again would decrease because that would be one lesson learned and one of your issues resolved.
It is hard I know to accept that you have made mistakes and some mistakes are bigger than others. Again, it doesn’t mean that you are a mistake, it just means that you have made a mistake and that’s okay, you’re you are okay.
That’s why making mistakes is important during your journey to Wellness. making mistakes is the only way you could really learn about yourself. It is just what we say to ourselves about ourselves after making the mistake that will make a difference.
As the great teacher said to someone who ask “How much times should I forgive someone”.. He said seventy times seven in a day. That’s 490 times! You can do for yourself as you do to other people. Forgive yourself 490 times in a day and see how your life transforms. No one makes that many mistakes in one day so I am sure you are well covered here.
If Self-forgiveness became the new pandemic, the world would be a better place.
I am a Therapist based in Sutton Coldfield, UK also available online.
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