Relationship Therapy for Singles or those in a relationship
Healthy and happy relationships that support the dreams and well-being of all individuals don’t just happen, they are made. Therapy can help you create a better version of yourself to empower you to create supportive relationships either with a partner, friends, work colleagues or your family.
Relationship Therapy for Singles just means, this isn't couples therapy. If you are struggling in your relationship you can come on your own.
Our relationships are often the most important things in our lives. When they’re going well, it makes us feel happy and the contentment of feeling connected to another human being on the deepest level. However, when we go through difficult times, our relationship can cause a great deal of hurt.
I work with individuals who struggle with relationships. You may think you have relationship issues because you:
- have given up on love but don’t really want to .. deep down
- might have problems with finding the right partner
- maybe in a relationship but scared in case they leave you
- may have problems with sex, intimacy
- struggle to communicate
- find it difficult to trust others
- are struggling with your partner’s addiction
- may even lack confidence meeting new people
- avoid relationships and don’t want to get close to anyone
- find yourself sabotaging a good relationship
- constantly feel anxious and worried
- Or you may have just gone through a break up and finding it difficult to cope
- Did you know that all these can be linked back to your past? In particular your family of origin?
Your parents were probably not bad people and you love them dearly now but it is not about blame but understanding.
You can’t change what you don’t know about. The Family of origin work that I do with you will explore the quality of your relationship with your parents, their relationship, any traumatic experiences, your environment. .
The example of damp on a wall for example. You could find some damp on a wall and decide just to paint over it, or just put some wallpaper on top. It would look pretty to begin with but it won’t last very long. Very soon the damp will come through the paint and wallpaper. The only way to solve this is to find out what is causing the damp in the first place and sort that out. It could be the drainpipe, guttering, the roof.
It is the same with us. We can get to the root of what causes the current problems in our lives where we can understand what happened then decide for ourselves how we want to change things.
You may still be resisting this and wondering” what has my problems with relationships got to do with my parents”. “They have a great relationship and have been together for 40 years!”
Our relationships with our parents (main carers) as a child in many ways is similar to the relationships we have with other people. The lessons you learned here, during those early years, wires your brain shaping how vulnerable you allow yourself to feel, your self-belief, how you see other people etc.
It is the foundation your life was built on. Like with the house above, if the foundation isn’t good, the whole house will have problems.
Your functioning in intimate relationships ties to your experiences with your primary caregivers because of the similarity of need in those relationships. Your lessons learned in the earliest experiences carry forth in the way your brain is wired, your vulnerabilities, your belief about yourself, others and the world around you. Not only parent relationships but other circumstances impact you, perhaps more than you realize, for your benefit or perhaps not.
The first step I will take you though is to help you to be aware of any unresolved issues (or trauma) in your past. If you are not aware of what has affected you, you won’t find any need to change it.
This is why many people go through life on automatic, even with behaviours that are not healthy. They continue to struggle, often don’t know why and don’t know how to change it.
Alongside the above, you would be supported with coping skills to help you manage your emotions while going through this process. You will also may want to use these skills for your life as a whole. I will support you in a holistic way incorporating taking care of your health, tools to cope with a negative mindset, other things in your life that would be affecting how you feel.
This is all done at your pace in a supportive and non-judgemental environment. You won’t be judged about how long it is taking for you to do anything as I completely understand how it is to change. You will be encouraged gently as you will feel the benefit.
I am a Therapist based in Sutton Coldfield, UK also available online.
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