Starting your healing journey can be a difficult time in many ways. This article will try to address some of your worries and concerns about making changes in your life. I want to encourage, reassure and support you here so you will feel more at ease with what you need to do.
You know you want and need to change but you feel confused about so many things. You may feel confused about your feelings. You may also put yourself down a lot as you feel that you haven’t progressed as well as you had hoped. Or you may worry about what life would be like for you without your issues.
This is the start of your journey and I hope you will continue regardless of how you feel right now.
Why should change take so long?
You may hope to start to feel well after a couple of sessions of therapy sessions. Just remember that your trauma didn’t happen overnight. It took years to build up and get to where you are right now. You just need patience to give yourself time to heal.
Why not just treat my what is wrong with me such as my anxiety?
We hear so often about quick fix methods of healing that promises a quick recovery. I am not against a number of these things as they can work for some people. For an effective solution to trauma, you need to heal what caused your anxiety, addiction, anger etc.
When you heal the cause, you don’t need to let it affect your life anymore, you won’t always be an addict or always be in recovery.
Very often people feel they have an “addictive personality”, for example, or say that this is how I am. When you understand yourself more and why you are you, you can change it.
Why do I need to work in between sessions?
Just attending therapy sessions isn’t enough
Trauma affects your mind, body, spirit which often shows itself in your environment. It is about looking at your lifestyle that could also be contributed to how you are feeling. You will find that changes need to be made to your day to day life.
These changes even though they will be difficult will be for the better and will last a lifetime.
How can I start to do the things I know that’s good for me?
Discipline and routine is important
In order to change, it requires being disciplined. You need to organise your days and time around your healing. It also needs to be a priority. You also need to be consistent with it. do what needs to be done daily, weekly, monthly etc.
Healing is a lifestyle choice. For example, you don’t just brush your teeth and say my teeth are fine and I don’t need to brush him again. if you were to do that you won’t have healthy teeth for very long. In order to keep your teeth healthy, you need to stick to a routine of looking after your teeth. This is the same for your emotional health.
“I don’t like blaming my parents”
It’s not about blaming, unless that is clearly what you want to do, it is just about understanding where you have come from. This process will help you to be kinder to yourself and not blame yourself with things that weren’t your fault when you were a child.
Who will I be when I have finished my healing journey?
You can be anything or anyone you want to be.
No one will force you to do anything you don’t want to do. In fact as you become more self-aware and understanding of yourself, You would have more choices over what you want to do with your life. It will be entirely up to you. All I know is that you will get the life that you want.
“I am not sure about all of this”
A lot of the times we are skeptical about what works or doesn’t. The work I do is based on science, history, philosophy etc. With a network of other very important therapists working the same way, over the years we have supported thousands of people who we have helped.
I worry about leaving the other people in my life behind – Would I be left on my own
This is a major concern for a lot of people. All I can say is that what ever is going on in your life right now.
Who ever are the people you have in your life right now. When you start your healing journey, you will be in a much better place than you are right now.
Also the people that truly love you for who you are, will be there for you when you are making positive changes for yourself.
Also whatever happens, you will be in a stronger place to cope with it.
“I am finding this difficult”
Change is difficult as we have lived one way all our lives and to do something different is difficult. The important thing to start with is to look after your physical health as best as possible so you are not being drained by a poor diet or lack of sleep.
Self care is also really important. Try to pamper yourself as much as you can. Spend time in nature and treat yourself to something nice.
Also remember I’m here to support you. just be open and honest me if I’m your therapist or your own therapist. you can write about your feelings in your journal.
Try not to feel overwhelmed
This could put you off starting all make you give up before it starts to work. You may hope to reach a certain point in your life but because it seems so far away, you may feel it too much and give up on yourself. Just remember that small baby steps is all that is needed to make progress. it is okay to make mistakes, it is okay to take steps backwards, you may feel you were going around in circles. all these feelings are normal.
Be careful with your energy
If you imagine an old-fashioned set of scales, on the one side you have your past, your recent problems, any health issues, traumas, even therapy itself etc. You need to understand that in order to address that imbalance, you need to be mindful off what drains you. You will already feel drained from these issues so if you add further negativity to you it could feel unbearable.
The only way to balance this out is with self-care. You need to be mindful are you look after yourself the food you eat, sleep patterns, toxic people. all those things that can drain you and cause further imbalances in your life.
I feel bad about myself in comparison to other people
Have they been through what you have been through?
Have the experienced the life you lived?
You can let people inspire and motivate you. Those who share some of your experiences, it might help you knowing that they have made it, so can you.
It’s all a learning process
Know that you have just started your healing journey and you will learn lots about yourself and others. don’t be fixated on having absolute opinions on things you don’t need to. You can change your mind on things when you choose.
Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence – Peter Levine
In trauma recovery the objective is for the past to become a very tiny part of your very large, confident, capable, and free self – Michele Rosenthal
I am better off healed than I was ever unbroken – Beth Moore
“The best things in life are on the other side of terror, on the other side of your maximum fear, are all of the best things in life.”
“Feel the fear and do it anyway”
I am a Therapist based in Sutton Coldfield, UK also available online.
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